i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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