wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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