Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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