My pussy is not your playground.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
