This is not my ceiling
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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