she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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