Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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