Pappa wants mamma naked
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
