Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
