Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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