But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
