I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
