problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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