You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
