This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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