He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize