In the future we'll all be gay
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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