It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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