I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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