The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
