Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize