It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
