If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
