Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
