Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
