idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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