She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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