That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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