McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
wow bdsm is so cute
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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