yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
