Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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