Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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