Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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