i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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