Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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