No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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