these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
