I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
