dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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