Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
