Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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