Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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