I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
