You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
