he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My feet surprised me
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
