hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This house was built for laser tag.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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