Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I need moral support for this bender
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
