Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
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