You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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