We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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