I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
