3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the day after is always just damage control
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
