Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize