I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
