sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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