better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i think im in europe. pls send help
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
