There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
