So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
