i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize