Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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