My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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