I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
