Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
