I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize