a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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