we made out on top of his cat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
