So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
My penis needs a shock collar
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
