No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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