...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
