Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop

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(636): View more from Missouri

Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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(702): View more from Nevada

explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

fireball beer pong. youre missing out

(732): View more from New Jersey

how is that even possible?

(908): View more from New Jersey

ove gloves.

(732): View more from New Jersey

be there in ten.

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(212): View more from New York

1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.

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(459): View more from

I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"

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