i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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